“Be joyful always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for
this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:16 - 18
You remember the old song… “I’ve got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy
Down in my Heart. Where? Down in my Heart. Where?
Down in my Heart.” Be joyful always
1 Thessalonias tell us. Was this
directed to a mother of three?? Well if
that isn’t a tall order, I don’t know what is!!
Several years ago we used to call the hours from 5 – 7 pm
the witching hours in our house. It
started when my youngest son, Matthew, had colic and he would WAIL constantly
for hours upon hours each night. Now it
is because Mommy straight up turns into a witch. It is the last few hours of my day and I am
running on fumes…which is incredibly cruel because it is when I have the most
to do and the least amount of energy to do it.
My sweet little cherub children decide that their good behavior quota
has been all used up at school. It
starts with what my husband, Eric, calls my “crazy eyes.” If they are smart, they catch my crazy eyes
and immediately retreat to their rooms.
If not…and let’s be honest, they rarely do because they were too busy
being crazy … if not, I quiet literally blow my top. And I realize that is completely hypocritical
to be screaming at them to quit yelling!
I am most certainly not full of Joy.
Almost immediately a cloud of shame engulfs me.
We’ve all had it. It
is a natural byproduct of becoming a mother.
Kind of like stretch marks. Mommy Guilt. It can stick around and be just as permanent
and shaming as those old stretch
marks. Whether it is because we lose our
cool with our kids or we feel guilty because we can’t go on their school field
trip. Maybe we spend too much time
trolling on Pinterest. Why can’t I
transform my backyard into Arendelle for Ella’s Frozen party?? Oh look at these fun, nutritious lunch boxes! I totally should be making animals out of the
100% organic lunch so that my kids will have FUN eating their healthy,
non-prepackaged lunch!
We can blame it on Pinterest, social media or society in
general. That may be how it reaches us,
but in reality, Satan is the author of Mommy Guilt. He has made it his mission to rob mothers of
the JOY that God blesses us with in motherhood.
He is a sneaky little devil. He
makes us beat ourselves up for impossibly high standards that we set upon
ourselves. I don’t know a single
perfect mother, yet I often beat myself up for not being one.
Well, when I was looking up the exact lyrics to “I’ve Got
Joy in My Heart” on the internet, I found another verse. “If the Devil doesn’t like it then he can sit
on a tack. Ouch. Sit on a tack. Ouch.
Sit on a tack.” Pretty feisty,
but I love it! Why do I give Satan that
kind of a foothold in my life? When I
think about it that way, it makes me adamant to not let him take one second of
my God Given Joy of motherhood. Does that give me a free pass to turn into
the Wicked Witch of the West every night?
Absolutely not. But it does allow
me to forgive myself for my shortcomings.
Then it gives me an opportunity to apologize to my children and teach
about forgiveness.
I am slowly learning to embrace what talents God has blessed
me with and to not sweat the areas where I am lacking. The fact that I had no less than five people
contact me about my go to meal – Kraft Macaroni and Cheese – changing their
recipe may be an indication that I am lacking in the cooking department. And you know what? That is OK!
I make sure that my kids get the nutrition that they need aside from the
cheese powder! I am not going to spend
time beating myself up because I am not the Pioneer Woman. Besides think of it this way – I am giving my
children wonderful ammo to torture me with at the dinner table when they
reminisce about their childhood. Those
are the times that my family laughs the hardest at the holidays J
Instead, I will pray without ceasing. Some days it will be filled with thanksgiving
for the blessing that God has given me.
Some days it will be to just have enough patience to make it to
bedtime. If I keep my eyes on Him as I
parent the children that God blessed me with, then I will have JOY in my heart.
Stephanie Greer is the
author of “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I
Survived Infertility … Twice.” To read
more about her journey through infertility, how she coped and what she learned
along the way, visit: www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879
Well said, STEPH!
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