Mother's Day Plans

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

I got my first Franklin Planner on my second day of my career in the real world.  This little Type A gal was in heaven.  I could plan my day, week, year … heck, I could plan three years in advance!  I was getting my life on track for great things!

When I got married a few years later, I made plans for the Greers.  “2004 – have baby #1.  2006 – have baby #2.  Stop if we have a boy and a girl, or go for #3 in 2008, if we have two of a kind.  It is that simple, right?  For most of my friends, it was.  Baby announcements seemed to come at me from every direction.  Emails.  Phone calls.  Pictures of celebrities in the grocery store line.  Everyone was getting pregnant.  Everyone, but me.  I just kept having one failed pregnancy test after another.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that something was wrong with me.  My body wasn’t cooperating and doing what it was supposed to so we could get pregnant.  After a lot of testing, we found out that I was infertile.  I got my diagnosis when I was supposed to be having my first child…according to my plan.  Why couldn’t I have the one thing that I wanted more than anything?  I felt so damaged.  Worthless.  Misunderstood.  Desperate.  Hopeless.  And completely alone. 

I distinctly remember crying in my Sunday School class on Mother’s Day in 2005 as we asked our friends to pray for us.  Would I ever be able to celebrate Mother’s Day? After class, our sweet, loving and wise Sunday School teacher walked up with a smile on her face and said “I just know you will be celebrating next year”.  God must have let her in on His plan because she was right.  Thankfully, by the next Mother’s Day, I was indeed pregnant after prayerfully pursuing In-Vitro Fertilization.  After a high-risk pregnancy that landed me in the hospital on bed rest for twelve weeks, I gave birth to twins, Ethan and Ella, in 2006.  As it was quite fitting, the next Mother’s Day, we stood humbly in front of our congregation as we dedicated our children to the Lord.  To our complete surprise, by the next Mother’s Day, I was pregnant with our son, Matthew.  It was a completely unplanned, medically unexplainable miracle!  Praise God!  Mother’s Day had turned from a day that reminded me of everything I didn’t have, to a celebration of the trials that God helped me overcome.

A few years later, I would go through the pain and agony of fertility treatments with our frozen embryos.  It was a long, hard year filled with doctor appointments, shots, and even surgery all while raising three small children.  Unfortunately, it would end with multiple failed cycles and a broken heart and spirit.

My verse that I clung to during that hard time was Jeremiah 29:11.  It was the verse that I had my kids memorize that summer.  Little did I know that it was more for me than them.  There were days when I was driving for yet another doctor appointment crying out to the Lord.  I couldn’t even find the words to pray, so I would just say His words back to Him.  I would insert my name into the verse and let them wash over me.  “For I know the plans I have for you, Stephanie,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Stephanie, plans for hope and a future.”  I would whisper the last part over and over to myself.  I was hurting now, but God had plans for me.

If God had told me ten years ago that His plan for me was to minister to women who struggled with infertility, what would I have thought?  If He had told me in order to do that, my body would be broken, I would be depressed and would even get to the point where I turned my back to Him for a while - -  Would I have been strong enough to say, “Yes Lord.  Please use me for Your will”?  My answer probably would have been… “Thanks but no thanks.  How about I work in the church nursery instead?!”  Because you always choose snuggling babies, right?

No, these are not the plans that I would have made for myself.  These plans are infinitely better than anything Stephanie Greer could have come up with in her little, finite mind.  How blessed am I that God had a plan just for me? A plan where, yes, I would experience a lot of pain.   At the end though, He would let me comfort women that have such a soft spot in my heart.  I can remind them that God is here for them, and He has plans for them too.    And I get to snuggle babies.

Sweet Friends, only God knows the plans that He has for you.  You may deal with struggles getting pregnant, health issues, loss or other heartaches.  Never lose sight that God is with you and holding your tender heart in His arms.  He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  He has hope and a future for you.

Stephanie Greer is the author of “Full Heart Empty Womb:  How I Survived Infertility … Twice.”  To read more about her journey through infertility, how she coped and what she learned along the way, visit:  http://fullheartemptywomb.blogspot.com.  To get your copy of her book, go to:  www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879