Yes. I am talking to YOU.

I can’t believe it has almost been two months since I published my first book, “Full Heart Empty Womb:  How I Survived Infertility … Twice”.  Honestly, it feels like it has been a lifetime ago.  Outside of a few blog posts and FB updates, I haven’t really been able to devote the time I would like to in order to promote my book.  Right after I published FHEW, I enjoyed a wonderful, busy Christmas with my family.  When January rolled around I was neck deep in various activities for my kids.  Yes, I see the wonderful irony that I am having difficulty finding the time to promote my book about Infertility because I have been busy with my children!  I am not complaining a bit.  What a fantastic “problem” to have J

Since I am self-published, everything lands squarely on Stephanie Greer’s shoulders.  This is truly a grassroots effort.  There is no PR or marketing person.  It can be a bit intimidating and often overwhelming, but I am pressing on.  It is my desire to be able to book several speaking engagements in order to get my book more visible to those that need it.  I am trying to cast my proverbial net wider to reach the people who need it most.  I have made some good headway in that goal.

On April 18^th, I will be speaking at a women’s conference at my church, Forest Hills Baptist Church (more details to come as they are available).  I am doing a breakout session titled “Courage Through Infertility” and am extremely excited about the opportunity.  I hope that this will lead to other opportunities to share my story and lessons I learned.

This week I was ready to dive into my first official event.  I teach preschool part time.  My wonderful director, Windy, arranged for me to speak to interested moms on two separate days.  It was a perfect, safe place for me to take my training wheels off so to speak.  I was nervous but excited.  I am not a stranger to public speaking.  My first career was in sales.  I led meetings and training sessions all the time.  I would present all sorts of products to CEOs, CFOs, and doctors.  But there was something about standing up and pretty much selling myself and my story that was pretty intimidating.  Eric, my husband, had a pretty good laugh at my expense.  “You literally wrote a book on this, Steph!  What is there to be scared of?”

He was right.  But still I was up in the middle of the night fine tuning my notes and perfecting my contact sheets.  I wanted everything to be just right and look professional.  “Can they tell that this was just something I doctored up on Microsoft Word??  Where is the marketing department when I need one!”  I easily convinced myself that I was in over my head.

Then I got this email.  I am convinced that this was encouragement straight from above.  God was telling me not to get discouraged.  I was on the right path.  It may not be easy, but I was headed in the right direction.  After a lot of prayer, I was headed in His direction.  I ran into our bedroom and shoved my iPhone in Eric’s sleepy face.  “Good morning.  I love you.  Can I go to this?  Please?  Please?  Pppllllleeeaaasssseeeee!!!!”  To which he quickly replied, “Of course.  That is the perfect opportunity for you.”  Ten minutes later I was registered and ready to go.   I cannot even tell you how PUMPED up I am to be able to go to this event!

My first day at my event at my preschool was perfect.  My goal was for two people to come.  Look.  I have realistic expectations.  I am a stay at home mom three days a week.  Those days are like GOLD to me.  Every second is precious.  As soon as I drop off my kids, it is my to do list versus the clock.  I even hear the “24” theme song ticking quickly in my brain most days.  I completely understand that taking an hour out of that precious time isn’t something that everyone would do... especially if you didn’t know me or have any interest in Infertility.  But praise the Lord …  Six people did.  Yes!!  I TRIPLED my goal J

I thoroughly enjoyed speaking and think it went well.  The ladies were engaged and enjoyed themselves.  People think that hearing someone talk about Infertility would be down right depressing.  I assure you that there were more laughs than tears and even the tears were happy ones.  Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on the way you look at things), I take after my kids in some ways.  I find it impossible to be completely serious for any long period of time.  I try to lighten the mood with my humor whenever possible.  The highlight of the session was at the end when one of the women said through tears that I had said exactly what she needed to hear.  Humbled doesn’t even begin to express the emotion I felt.  God used me to speak to someone.  That’s pretty awesome.

My stupid pride… and my bruised ego … would like to just end it with that wonderful experience.  But I had a second day to get ready for!  Today I went in with a goal of one person attending.  Look.  I was being realistic again!  I don’t teach on Wednesdays so not as many of the parents even really know me.  The few moms that do know me had already told me that they attended a Wednesday Bible study.  So I sat next to my pretty book table.  Stared at the clock.  Then I played on Facebook.  Stared at the clock again.  Texted Eric. 

When the room was still empty five minutes after I was supposed to start, I realized that maybe I overshot my goal by one.  I wiped a humiliated tear and started to pack up my things.  As I was cleaning up the room, I berated myself.  “How could I think that this could be the start of something?  Could I really do this over and over and be disappointed?  It would be so much easier on me, my family and my little fragile ego if I let life go back to the way it was.  I am already spread too thin.  I forgot Ella’s Science test last week for Pete’s sake!!  I have already met all my personal goals for my book.  I helped myself heal and have helped several others.  Maybe I should just let it be at that.”

What??!!  Whoa.  How quickly I forgot that encouragement that God gave me only two days ago!  No.  Siree.  Bob.  Humiliated tear dried and replaced by a determined Steph.  Drop kick the devil and his negative thoughts to the curb.  Because you know what?  The devil doesn’t waste his time on people that aren’t a threat to him.  And I am.  I serve a big and mighty God that can do BIG things.  Even with little old me. 

I know from feedback that I have gotten that this book will help countless more people.  It provides hope to people who feel like they have no hope.  And not just hope to people who are dealing with Infertility today.  I have heard from people who suffered through the pain of Infertility years ago that this book provided the understanding that they needed and ultimately healing for them too.  Many of my friends that had a front row seat to my pain, shared that they had no clue what I had really been going through.  After reading FHEW, they felt like they understood my struggle more fully. 

Honestly, every woman has a stake in trying to understand Infertility better.  Whether you have been through it yourself or have a friend that is dealing with it, it is relevant to all women.  Believe me, if you know it or not, everyone has friends that are dealing with it.  It is so widespread but NO ONE talks about it.  But I will.

So back to my title.  Yes.  I am talking to YOU.  I am ready to come a talk to your book club, Bible study, women’s group, or just group of girlfriends.  I am just as comfortable in a Fellowship Hall with a casserole and sweet tea as I am in a living room with wine and cheese.  I am centrally located in Nashville, TN.  If I can drive it, I will be there.  Give me an excuse to take a drive sans kids with just me and my latest Audible download!

I am happy to do a book overview like I did with my preschool mamas.  I can come to a book club with people who have read my book to discuss further.  I would love to help others learn more about Infertility and how they can be give support to those dealing with it.  Maybe you just want to increase what I like to call your CQ (Compassion Quotient)!  I can work with any ideas you have.

So action time.  Get a group of gals together.  Get a few dates.  Email me at fullheartemptywomb@gmail.com to get on my calendar.   Want to know another simple way to help these grassroots grow?  It’s as simple as a click - - Like or Share www.facebook.com/fullheartemptywomb on Facebook.  The people who need it will see it and appreciate it.  And if you made it all the way to this plea ... I appreciate you.

Groundhog Day

“Watch out for that first step! It's a doozy!!”  Ned Reyerson.

That is one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies when I was little.  Why don’t they make movies like that anymore?  Bill Murray plays Phil, who must relive the same day over and over.  There are several times in my life where I felt like I was smack dab in the middle of “Groundhog Day.”  In fact, when I was reading back through my book, Full Heart Empty Womb, I had to take that analogy out because I used it more than once!

My most meaningful Groundhog Day experience was when I was in the hospital on bed rest pregnant with my twins.  I had been through a rough couple of year prior trying to conceive.  When I finally was able to conceive through IVF, I had a high-risk pregnancy.  I went into pre-term labor that landed me in the hospital at 22 weeks.

For 11 weeks, I felt like I was relieving the same day.  I would wake up.  Order my breakfast from the cafeteria (blueberry muffin, cheerios, sweet acidophilis milk – which we affectionately called my sweet ass milk ;). Pee.  Lay and wait for my breakfast while I watched The Today Show.  Pray.  Sit Up.  HOORAY!!  Eat.  Lay back down.  Wait for my morning nurse to give meds.  Drink water.  Pee.  Nurse comes gives me meds in my IV. Shift to my other side.  Drink water.  Pee.  Finally the doctor comes to round on me.  Tells me the same thing as the day before.  “Every day we keep them in you, is four days less in the NICU!!”  Pray.  Then the best 10 minutes of my day – SHOWER!!!  Lay.  Drink Water.  Watch Talk of the Town.  Order lunch.  Pee.  Drink.  Shift positions.  Sit Up.  Hooray!!!  Eat.  Lay back down.  Crap.  Gotta pee again.  Get hooked up for my daily monitoring.  Shift and try to get comfortable with all the cords.  Stare at the contraction monitor and wonder why I can’t feel any of them.  Pray.  Shift.  Count the flowers on the wallpaper.  Drift off to sleep.  Wake up when the nurse comes to turn off the monitor.  Pee.  Drink Water.  Pray.  Watch “Everybody Loves Raymond” in Spanish because I am that desperate for entertainment.  Drink water.  Shift.  Stare at the clock.  Eric gets here with supper!!!!  Pee.  Sit up!!  Eat yummy take-out.  Lay down.  Pee.  Watch TV with Eric.  Shift.  Pray.  Watch Eric make his fold out bed next to me like he does every night.  Drink water.  Take my Ambien.  Pee.  And fall into a peaceful sleep. 

Thankfully I was blessed to be able to do that for 11 weeks…. or 77 days …. or 1,848 hours … or 110,880 minutes.  And because I was able to relive that same day over and over and over, my babies not only survived, they thrived.

This was one of my favorite days in the hospital.  Eric brought our dog, Majors, to come visit me!

Gordon Gartrell Curtains

We live in a fixer upper.  It is a 30-year old ranch with a lot of charm, a lot of potential and the best dang yard in the world.  Since there are so many areas that could use a little love and there is only so much time, effort, and oh yea – money to go around, I have learned to turn a blind eye to a lot of things.

Case and point:  the curtains in my youngest son, Matthew’s, room.  The curtain rod broke this summer, but it still worked enough to hold up the curtain.  I was busy with taking the kids to the pool, writing a book, and all that.  The blind eye won.   I completely took advantage of the fact that he was a six-year old boy and didn’t give a lick. 

Until today, dear friends!!  God blessed us with a beautiful sunny day where I could banish my sweet children to the best dang yard in the world.  I bought a new curtain rod on my weekly trip to Target.  I planned on getting Eric to hang the rod up higher because the previous owners put the rod right into the molding.  Blind eye, people!!! 

Since his current curtains would be a smidge short, I would simply sew some fabric that matches his room to the bottom.  It would add character too!  Gosh, I am so clever!

Except for the tiny detail.  I am a horrible seamstress.  Apparently just being the daughter of an extremely talented seamstress is not enough.  I do not have the patience to do all the necessary steps for it to not be a complete disaster.  Straight lines?  Ha!  They would be long and pool on the floor (per HGTV standards), so who could tell if they were straight or not?  The thread was nowhere close to matching?  Insignificant detail!  It was not my fault I can’t remember how to change the thread, so I have been using the same color for two years.  And do you know how hard it is to maneuver with all that fabric??  I do.  It is a bitch.  And I didn’t discover it until I had the petal to the floor stitching a way.

So this was the result.  The Gordon Gartrell* of curtains. 

Yes.  I gave up after the first panel because really what was the point???

There were a few tears and a lot of laughing when I sent the picture to Eric.  Then I got real, pulled out my Red Card, and bought some adorable orange and white chevron curtains.  Orange, White AND Chevron!!!  Why did I waste an hour of my life??

I also learned a lesson.  It is time for me to just accept who I am, what my gifts are, and more importantly, what they are not.  And that is ok.  I don’t have to be good at everything.  In fact, the few things that I am good at, I will focus on those and try to get better at those.  Everything else – pull out the Red Card.

I hope to pass that on to my kids too.  There is so much pressure on kids today to be the best at everything.  School.  Sports.  Various extracurricular activities.  Think they aren’t ranking themselves out on the playground?  Think again.  Ella had a real hard time with it last year in first grade.  Her teacher had a saying that I just loved.  She said, “Ella, you can’t be the best at everything.  You would be an alien then!!”  Ella would just giggle but she quit being so hard on herself. 

Maybe it is time that I take that same advice.  You see… I am a 37-year old fixer upper, with a lot of charm, a decent amount of potential and the best dang family in the world.

*And if you didn’t get the Gordon Gartrell reference.  Bless you.  Enjoy this comedic genius.

Stephanie shares her near ten-year battle with infertility in her book, "Full Heart Empty Womb:  How I Survived Infertility ... Twice"  It is available for sale exclusively on Amazon.com:  

www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879 

Gratitude

It is hard to imagine that less than a month ago my book “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility … Twice” was published on amazon.com.  (www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879)  I quickly penned a blog post giving all the details.  I ended it with a little begging/pleading for you to share my book.  

Wow is all I can say.  If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, then you are probably so sick of seeing my book cover on your Newsfeed!  I guarantee you that each of you have a friend that has dealt with infertility and it caught their eye.  Maybe it was just the encouragement that they needed that day.  Or maybe they had a friend or sister that desperately needed to feel like they were not alone in their battle.   Thank you for letting God use you to touch these people’s lives.  Every time I read a post from one of your friends saying they needed this book, I am moved to tears.  It is so incredibly humbling.

I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am to each of you.  You have been my constant encourager.   Every compliment, “Like,” and note of encouragement has been taken to heart.  And I needed it, dear friends.  This has been a huge undertaking.  I often thought I had gotten in over my head.  But you gave me what I needed to persevere. 

But it goes beyond just us.  That is the extremely cool thing about Amazon.com.  They are the largest retailer of books in the WORLD.  That can be an awesome thing but a bit of a daunting thing to this little unknown author.  How in the world are people beyond my little world going to ever stumble upon my book?  That is where you helped again!!!! 

On Facebook if you like my “Full Heart Empty Womb” page, that makes it visible to all of your friends.  Most people will overlook it, but it will resonate with those who need it.   I have to share a crazy text I got from a dear friend from college.  She forwarded me a screen shot of a text that she had gotten from one of her friends.  This friend (who I didn’t even know!!) was telling her about my book!  That is so cool!  Excuse the excessive exclamation marks, but that is so incredibly exciting to me.  The day I got the text, I was a bit discouraged wondering if I was ever going to sell any book outside of my little circle.  With that text, God reminded me that He was in control.  

If you bought my book, you made it more visible.  The more people that purchase my book, the higher up it climbs the ranks of my book category.  I have consistently been ranked in the top three for the “Hot New Releases” in Fertility.  How many people can say that? ;)  That means that the lady in Seattle who is hurting because she so desperately wants to have and baby, may see my book and find comfort in it!  And that is pretty freakin awesome.

Marketing Plan:  Social Media.  Big. Fat. Check.

Phase Two.....