Gordon Gartrell Curtains

We live in a fixer upper.  It is a 30-year old ranch with a lot of charm, a lot of potential and the best dang yard in the world.  Since there are so many areas that could use a little love and there is only so much time, effort, and oh yea – money to go around, I have learned to turn a blind eye to a lot of things.

Case and point:  the curtains in my youngest son, Matthew’s, room.  The curtain rod broke this summer, but it still worked enough to hold up the curtain.  I was busy with taking the kids to the pool, writing a book, and all that.  The blind eye won.   I completely took advantage of the fact that he was a six-year old boy and didn’t give a lick. 

Until today, dear friends!!  God blessed us with a beautiful sunny day where I could banish my sweet children to the best dang yard in the world.  I bought a new curtain rod on my weekly trip to Target.  I planned on getting Eric to hang the rod up higher because the previous owners put the rod right into the molding.  Blind eye, people!!! 

Since his current curtains would be a smidge short, I would simply sew some fabric that matches his room to the bottom.  It would add character too!  Gosh, I am so clever!

Except for the tiny detail.  I am a horrible seamstress.  Apparently just being the daughter of an extremely talented seamstress is not enough.  I do not have the patience to do all the necessary steps for it to not be a complete disaster.  Straight lines?  Ha!  They would be long and pool on the floor (per HGTV standards), so who could tell if they were straight or not?  The thread was nowhere close to matching?  Insignificant detail!  It was not my fault I can’t remember how to change the thread, so I have been using the same color for two years.  And do you know how hard it is to maneuver with all that fabric??  I do.  It is a bitch.  And I didn’t discover it until I had the petal to the floor stitching a way.

So this was the result.  The Gordon Gartrell* of curtains. 

Yes.  I gave up after the first panel because really what was the point???

There were a few tears and a lot of laughing when I sent the picture to Eric.  Then I got real, pulled out my Red Card, and bought some adorable orange and white chevron curtains.  Orange, White AND Chevron!!!  Why did I waste an hour of my life??

I also learned a lesson.  It is time for me to just accept who I am, what my gifts are, and more importantly, what they are not.  And that is ok.  I don’t have to be good at everything.  In fact, the few things that I am good at, I will focus on those and try to get better at those.  Everything else – pull out the Red Card.

I hope to pass that on to my kids too.  There is so much pressure on kids today to be the best at everything.  School.  Sports.  Various extracurricular activities.  Think they aren’t ranking themselves out on the playground?  Think again.  Ella had a real hard time with it last year in first grade.  Her teacher had a saying that I just loved.  She said, “Ella, you can’t be the best at everything.  You would be an alien then!!”  Ella would just giggle but she quit being so hard on herself. 

Maybe it is time that I take that same advice.  You see… I am a 37-year old fixer upper, with a lot of charm, a decent amount of potential and the best dang family in the world.

*And if you didn’t get the Gordon Gartrell reference.  Bless you.  Enjoy this comedic genius.

Stephanie shares her near ten-year battle with infertility in her book, "Full Heart Empty Womb:  How I Survived Infertility ... Twice"  It is available for sale exclusively on Amazon.com:  

www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879 

Gratitude

It is hard to imagine that less than a month ago my book “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility … Twice” was published on amazon.com.  (www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879)  I quickly penned a blog post giving all the details.  I ended it with a little begging/pleading for you to share my book.  

Wow is all I can say.  If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, then you are probably so sick of seeing my book cover on your Newsfeed!  I guarantee you that each of you have a friend that has dealt with infertility and it caught their eye.  Maybe it was just the encouragement that they needed that day.  Or maybe they had a friend or sister that desperately needed to feel like they were not alone in their battle.   Thank you for letting God use you to touch these people’s lives.  Every time I read a post from one of your friends saying they needed this book, I am moved to tears.  It is so incredibly humbling.

I cannot even begin to express how grateful I am to each of you.  You have been my constant encourager.   Every compliment, “Like,” and note of encouragement has been taken to heart.  And I needed it, dear friends.  This has been a huge undertaking.  I often thought I had gotten in over my head.  But you gave me what I needed to persevere. 

But it goes beyond just us.  That is the extremely cool thing about Amazon.com.  They are the largest retailer of books in the WORLD.  That can be an awesome thing but a bit of a daunting thing to this little unknown author.  How in the world are people beyond my little world going to ever stumble upon my book?  That is where you helped again!!!! 

On Facebook if you like my “Full Heart Empty Womb” page, that makes it visible to all of your friends.  Most people will overlook it, but it will resonate with those who need it.   I have to share a crazy text I got from a dear friend from college.  She forwarded me a screen shot of a text that she had gotten from one of her friends.  This friend (who I didn’t even know!!) was telling her about my book!  That is so cool!  Excuse the excessive exclamation marks, but that is so incredibly exciting to me.  The day I got the text, I was a bit discouraged wondering if I was ever going to sell any book outside of my little circle.  With that text, God reminded me that He was in control.  

If you bought my book, you made it more visible.  The more people that purchase my book, the higher up it climbs the ranks of my book category.  I have consistently been ranked in the top three for the “Hot New Releases” in Fertility.  How many people can say that? ;)  That means that the lady in Seattle who is hurting because she so desperately wants to have and baby, may see my book and find comfort in it!  And that is pretty freakin awesome.

Marketing Plan:  Social Media.  Big. Fat. Check.

Phase Two.....

New Year, New Beginnings!

New Years is a time for new beginnings.  New stories to be written.  New chapters to start.  When I think back to last New Years, it is hard to imagine that the title character was even the same person as today in the book of “Stephanie Greer.”

Last year Eric and I had a big ‘ole New Years Eve party.  We were so ready to kick 2013 to the curb.  “So long 2013!!!  Don’t let the door hit you in the … “  After a year of failed fertility treatments that ended in heartache, and then multiple surgeries for Eric, I was exhausted.  For months, I painted on the happy face and acted like I was fine.  After all, no one wants to be around Debbie Downer.  And Heaven forbid I make anyone uncomfortable!  I said all the proper, “Christiany” things that one is supposed to say when faced with hard times.  I wanted to believe all those things, but I didn’t deep down.  I was just playing the part. 

If you had told me that a year from now I would have written a book about my journey with infertility and how I coped with it, I could have laughed I your face.  How could I help anyone??  I hadn’t coped with anything.  I was a mess.  You see, a year ago, I was barely on speaking terms with God.

It wasn’t until I had a complete meltdown and called my sweet Mama almost hyperventilating.  I cried and begged for her to pray for me.  I knew I couldn’t fake my way out of my grief…my agony.  So she prayed.  My sister prayed.  My friends prayed.  And their prayers gave me the strength I needed to not only deal with my grief but to take it a step further.  They gave me the strength and the courage to write about my journey in “Full Heart Empty Womb:  How I survived Infertility … Twice.”  It humbles me when readers compliment my strength and courage after completing my book.  Honestly, none of that was me.  Stephanie Greer is the one with the painted on smile faking it and breaking down on the inside.  God is the one that gave me the strength to not only deal with my pain but healed me through the writing process.

This morning, January 1, 2015, the Greers had a new beginning.  We decided we were going to have a little devotional as a family each morning over breakfast.  I pulled out our daily kids devotional book, “Jesus Calling.”  When I looked at the verse for the day, tears of joy immediately sprung to my eyes.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11  

Reading this verse made me feel like I had finally come full circle.  This verse was my lifeline during all of 2013.  There were times when I couldn’t find the words express myself in my prayers and I would just weep these words to God until my tears slowed and I found peace.  At the time, I was sure that my hope and future would mean a sweet baby snuggled in my arms.  I could close my eyes and feel the weight of my sweet baby lying on my chest.  Breathing in an out so softly and the sweetest little hums escaping his/her little lips.  I could feel the silky little locks of hairs that I would stoke as I kissed his/her soft cheek.

Alas my interpretation of God’s plans for me and His were not the same.  But as my Sunday School teacher, Howard, says “God’s perfect plan is always better than my best plan.”  Perhaps God will reach some hurting women through my book.  I know from the feedback I have gotten, that we have already reached some.  I cannot tell you how please I am to hear!

Yes, Stephanie Greer was a much different character January 2014 from today.   However, there was always the same Author to her story….  “For I know the plans I have for you, Stephanie,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

To order your copy of “Full Heart Empty Womb: How I Survived Infertility … Twice” go to: 

www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879