Love Actually

Last night was one of my favorite times of the Christmas season.  Take the kids to pick out the over priced real Christmas tree Eric insists on having?  Check!  Take the kids to pick out their annual ornament. Check!  Take the kids to see the light show.  Check!!  But the one “Mama only” tradition happens when the kids are in bed and my sweet Eric is out late….pop the popcorn, pour the glass(es) of box wine and watch “Love Actually.”  My favorite movie of all time, but for some reason I only watch it at Christmastime.

You see this handsome guy in the picture above.  He is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Yea.  Yea.  I know sappy.  But really I have the best, most supportive husband in the world.

We are complete opposites.  It is easy to look at the two of us on the surface and see how different we are. When we met we were in college at University of Tennessee.  He was a good old redneck from West Tennessee and I was a city girl who had never been further west than Nashville.  Before we started dating, I am ashamed to say that I had only been to a hand full of football games in my whole life.  Eric had probably only missed a hand full of games in his lifetime.  He prefers to wear a good broken in t-shirt with some camo.  I am perpetually accused of being over dressed.  He drives a big, manly black truck.  While I drive spiffy, red SUV with stick figures on the side.  (annoying I know, but I worked hard for those miniature stick figures!!)

Now that we are married, we are unusual in that we only watch TV together at night.  There is no parting of ways at night for me to watch “Dancing with the Stars” and he to watch SportsCenter.  We always watch shows that we will enjoy together.  We have a chair and a half that fits us perfectly.  We always pick a show that we both will agree upon and snuggle … 24, Blue Blood, Hawaii 5-0, Blacklist.  I love that we spend our night relaxing together and would not change a thing.

All that being said, oh my, am I so grateful for a night of my Rom-Com??   I LOVE “Love Acutally!”  I love the humor.    I love the British accent.  I love Hugh Grant.  I love the huge romance.  The prime minister goes all down the “dodgy” parts of London to find his Natalie.  Jamie learns Portuguese to woe Auerelia.  I love that Mark goes out of his way to make the wedding special for his love knowing he can never have her.

Eric actually surprised me and came home a little early so he watched the last part of the movie with me.  He laughed and enjoyed it.   So often we watch movies and read books and over romanticize life.  I was reminded what “Love Actually” really is….

·      A man that came home early from a party to watch a cheesy movie with me….

·      A man that loved me through all the hundreds of shots, tears, and pain of infertility….

·      A man that sleeps on a pleather pullout couch for 84 days of my bed rest in the hospital because he doesn’t want me to be alone…..

·      A man that stops and buys me a Sonic Diet Coke every time he passes one because he knows I like them best...

·      A man who isn’t entirely comfortable with expressing his feelings.  However, when I tell him that I want to write a book, he not only supports me but WRITES A WHOLE CHAPTER FROM THE MALE POINT OF VIEW!

That is right!  Eric, my very private husband wrote an entire chapter about his experience with infertility.  Reading his words brought me to tears.  I never knew how infertility affected him until I read his thoughtful words.  Getting a glimpse into his heart was worth writing the book in itself even if I never sold a single book.  

I strongly encourage anyone that is dealing with infertility to read what he has to say.  It will really help you understand what your spouse is thinking and feeling.  Then when you are done, you can let him read it so he can better understand how you are feeling!!! ;)

Full Heart Empty Womb available today exclusively through Amazon.com

www.amazon.com/dp/1503370879

And just to brighten your day….. a little Hugh…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBDEN5AFmWU

Paperback available NOW!!!!!!!!!

Hey do you see that about 50 yards back?  Yeah.  That is my comfort zone.  I have been tiptoeing away from my comfort zone since April of this year.  That was when I decided to write a book about my battle with infertility.   And here I am eight months later and I actually published my book, “Full Heart Empty Womb.”   The paperback is available NOW and the e-book will be available next Tuesday, December 16 on amazon.com.  Here is the link to it:  http://www.amazon.com/Full-Heart-Empty-Womb-Infertility/dp/1503370879

This former business-person turned stay-at-home mom turned part time preschool teacher turned AUTHOR?   Makes perfect sense, right???  If you had told me this time last year that I was going to write a book helping people who struggle with Infertility, I would have laughed in your face. I was broken.  How could I help anyone?  But you see through writing my story, God healed me.  What seemed to never make sense to me was made crystal clear through the writing process.

My hope and prayer is that this book can get in the hands of as many people who are dealing with Infertility as possible.  No one should feel like they are dealing with this alone.   There are countless books out there that can try to tell you how to get pregnant quicker.  How many are there that will tell you how to take care of YOU and your heart in the process?

Here is where I am going to step out of my comfort zone even more.  And maybe ask you to step out of yours a bit too.  I need you to share with your friends about my book.  One in eight couples deals with infertility.  That is staggering!!  Since I have become more open about my struggles, I have heard from so many people who dealt with it too.  I would say that the huge statistic is dead on.  I absolutely guarantee that there are many of your friends that are dealing with it or have loved ones that are.  The majority of those people are dealing with it completely in silence.  Let me be their friend.  Let me be there for them through the comfort of my words, experiences and wisdom that I have gained on my journey.

So yeah.  Now I am about 100 yards from my comfort zone.

Ramblings of an insomniac who just got her PROOF BOOK!!!!!

I got my proof copy of my book today.  I pulled it out of the mailbox exactly seven hours ago.  I quickly snapped a picture to share because I was soooo excited.  The kids were excited too.  Ethan yelled, "Mommy's book is published!!"  I told him that it wasn't quite yet, but we were one step closer.  The kids are so excited about my book.  They really don't know what it is about, but they are excited nonetheless.  I have just told them that Mommy wrote a book to help people.  They really like to think that their Mommy is going to be famous like J.K Rowling though ;)

Then I carefully put it aside away from juice boxes and goldfish to help with homework and spelling tests.  As soon as I finish that, it was time for supper and baths.  I am not complaining at all.  It is my life and I am eternally grateful.  But I really wanted to yell, "Seriously!!  6 pm is not to early for bed tonight!!!"

Tonight was also book club night.  We meet at my house every couple of weeks.  We haven't read a book in over a year, but shush, don't tell our husbands!  After numerous yawns and "so to wrap this ups," my sweet friends went on their way.  I imagine they are all snuggled up sleeping in their beds now.  

I should have gone to bed but I knew I would just lay there thinking about all the things I needed to do, so I decided to work with the adrenaline and hop to it.  I immediately ran to my proof book and laptop ready to work.  I knew that self publishing would be some work, but I underestimated how much work it would be for a newbie like me.  And tedious.  Good night!!  If I did not love my little laptop so much, I would have drop kicked it out the window a dozen times.  But finally after 2.5 hours of my eyes crossing, I think I have the interior the way I want it.  No widows....no orphans....(what the hell is that???  be grateful you don't know!)  And don't tell Eric, but he is gonna fix the page number headache when he wakes in a few short hours.  Click here, Click there and it should be live soon.....or so they lead you to believe!

But the sweetest time was when the crazy wore off and I just sat and held my book.  I sat and looked at our hands on the cover of the book.  This is my life...our life.  My proof book now has a few tear stains on it now.  But they are happy tears.  God is going to take our pain and help other people who are hurting.  What is more beautiful than that?